aging is not equivalent to initiation

I think it’s a comfortable thing to believe that our people who have more years than us by default carry more wisdom and experience. I can say for myself at least, I really value having elders in my life who can offer guidance and stories for how they’ve traversed rocky ground and come out of it on the other side to tell the tale.

But I also want to offer the thought that, while we grow a little older every day, this does not automatically mean that we’re embodying the roles and aspects of ourselves that we are designed to — and actually, our modern culture has really pulled us away from honoring the big transitions in our lives that facilitate the self-expansion we need to go through in order to fully embrace what comes next.

Our elders know what they know and can give us what they were given, and the truth of it is that for most of us, our ancestors were spoon fed a lot of lies. For example, the lie that we should be ashamed of our femininity, embarrassed of our female physiology, and quiet when things aren’t well. The roots of this one in particular run deep, and whether we recognize it or not, follow us into every area of our lives if we don’t uproot it.

While we go through the physical motions, we’re often too occupied to realize and claim the sacred that is interwoven within.

Young girls meet the initiation into their bleeding years with unsound advice as to how to care for their bodies well through each of the phases of their cycle and with incredibly skewed images of what “beauty” is and how to “attain” it — completely missing the wisdom meant to endow her in her blood rites that would set her future self up for confidence in her birthing experiences, her motherhood, and her sage-essence transition.

Women become mothers every single day, but many stay stuck in their maidenhood. Unsure of how to rise into this newness of self as mother, maybe even unwilling to release the parts of themselves that couldn’t survive through the portal that is birth, clinging to the old for fear of identity loss, uncertainty in their new value and how their community will receive them, and all the while life pushes them forward — ready or not. When what she really needed was recognition for the parts of herself that died in order to expand and stretch to her limits, the community brings too many newborn size clothes and a lot of fluff that isn’t needed.The impact this has on her ability to bond and attach to her newborn is measurable in her ability to breastfeed and create a solid milk supply, how secure she is in honoring her primal instincts and intuition that are designed to keep her newborn safe, and honestly, evermore into her child’s life in the ways of connection and ability to raise them up and decision make with confidence. How she views herself as mother is directly related to her birth experience, and how well we recover our body post-birth also directly influences our future menopause experience.

And then of course, all of the above is true of menopause too. We’re asked at this time to advance, to embody this next version of ourself and claim this seasoned wisdom and insight into the cumulation of our life’s work — allowing ourselves to see with fresh eyes where we are, adjust what needs adjusting, and honor our own true desires in ways we likely weren’t able to while we were in the thick of our mothering / creating years. Wisdom, mind you, that our youngers who look to us for guidance are needing so fiercely. Yet, women in this phase of life generally are moving through it with lots of shame or avoidance, extreme physical struggles, and are trying to hide away their age and do all they can to extend their “agelessness” in order to hold tight to a past version of themselves.

Do you see the circle? Every phase of womanhood comes back around and build and forms within the others.

The world is brutal regardless, but I’d venture to say that we create more challenge for ourselves when we fail to remember, acknowledge, and honor the initiations embedded in our physiology. Within these transformations, the foundation is set within us for deep compassion for our design and how to honor it — without force, despise, or avoidance. When we don’t honor our design, we see every form of ailment, dis-ease, and un-wellness.

When we’re meant to transform, but don’t, we’re like butterflies trapped in cocoons we no longer fit in. Desiring and designed to fly and pollinate the world around us, but staying small, hidden away, and often discontent instead.

So here is your invitation to claim for yourself the rites of passage that were missed, or awkward, or silenced. Those distinct moments in your life that should have (but didn’t) receive the wise elder guidance that was needed.

Let’s go back to the beginning and start again.

This is one way of tending to the big picture of our health, and even more, this is how we pave the way for our daughters, sisters, and friends to claim their strength too and receive the wisdom that’s been within their bones all along.

This is the heart of all the work I do — in womb care, postpartum care, and body balancing. To bring awareness and attention to the places of our selves that may have gone unattended or are calling out for support in fresh ways.

I’ll be honest, I myself tend to be the type of gal that prefers to DIY pretty much everything in my life. But I must say, the magic that happens within the collaboration of wise women is not something that can be replicated or replaced by self care. Self care is foundational, but if you’re feeling like you’re only getting so far with it, it may be time to connect and go on your exploration together.

Much love and well wishes,

G