the role of the sacred sister
It is our design to mother and be held in community.
We look to the ancient ways and see that it was the sisters, mothers, aunties, grandmothers, and wise woman elders who held firmly and dearly the container for healing in all its aspects to take place for the new mother. This sacred circle of women created the space to hear her raw and undulating experiences and the messages within
holding the mirror to reflect back the strength she contains
someone to braid her hair, fill her soup bowl, and remind her of who she is.
My hope is to bring this invaluable work of the sacred sister back into our community and help women come out of their birth experiences feeling initiated, powerful, and confident in their ability to mother in spite of all the unknowns a mother must face.
Well supported mothers raise well supported families. Well supported families create wholesome and strong communities. Upstanding communities shift the world. The ripple is continual and constantly in motion, and mothers are the root. They are the soil from which the next generation will either thrive, or enter the world from a place of depletion and lack.
Supporting the mothers is synonymous to healing the world.
Across cultures and traditions, women supported women.
postpartum care around the world
In Ayurvedic teaching, the first forty days after birth are known as the sacred window. This time is set in place to ensure the mother receives all the care she needs, as well as to create space for the family to undergo the incredible transformation that it is to welcome in a new baby. In China, this time is known as zuoyuezi, or “sitting the moon.” Traditional postpartum care in Mexico is known as la cuarentina, quite literally a quarantine of protected space for motherbaby. The Swahili term “mamatoto” literally means motherbaby — a sacred dyad, emphasizing the inseparability between mother and her newborn. What affects one, affects the other. What is good for one, is good for the other.
Here in America, we’re reawakening to the importance and significance of the postpartum time. For decades we have glorified overdoing and the repercussions are vast. Dear sister, to be a mother does not mean to be a martyr. Yes, we give. But we are not designed to give until there is nothing left of us.
Planning and preparing to rest in your postpartum time is not selfish, not luxury, not out of reach. This is essential for the longevity of you. Your family needs you. In order for you to be the best mother you can be, you must allow yourself to replenish and receive the nourishment that you require and deserve.
Ayurvedic teaching says that the postpartum time is an opportunity for women’s health to improve, to become better than it was prior to becoming pregnant, with adequate postpartum care.
“A great postpartum doula can attend to all of the universal postpartum needs: preparing fresh nourishing foods, appropriate bodywork, leading you in breath exercises, wrapping your belly, reminding you to rest, making your house beautiful, and listening to you. A postpartum doula also lightens the load on partners so that both mother and father can focus on nurturing the baby and experiencing precious time together.”
— The Fourth Trimester, Kimberly Ann Johnson
what postpartum support looks like
extended period of rest
Just as each trimester in pregnancy is 12-14 weeks, our fourth trimester (postpartum time) must be allotted a sufficient amount of recovery time. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Depending on where you are in the world, this timeline varies. Ideally the very minimum amount of rest time is 2 weeks bedrest. As the midwives say, “five days in the bed, five days on the bed, five days in the bedroom.”
warmth
While pregnant our womb is warm, big, and full of life. After the baby is born, this space is considered to be cold and empty. To prevent sickness, discomfort, and to promote healing it is essential to keep momma warm. Taking care to be wrapped up in bed, incorporating heat inducing therapies, and belly binding are great ways to support this need.
nourishment
Warm in temperature, warm in nature (think, digestive spices such as ginger, cinnamon, etc.), hydrating, easily digested foods. Supporting mommas physical body in this way not only replenishes her own being, but supports the production of quality, easily digested milk for baby. Remember, what is good for mom is good for baby.
bodywork
The tremendous energy it takes for a mother to grow, birth, and nourish a baby warrants a great deal of love and care be given back to her body. Not only for the sake of recovering well, but for the longevity of her wellbeing, the settling of her nervous system and the release of anything that no longer serves her.
connection
Postpartum mommas are to be surrounded by people they both love and trust. This transition into motherhood is a highly vulnerable space where the birth portal is still open – we are neither “here nor there.” No longer pregnant, but not yet fully transformed into this newest version of ourselves. Traditionally the elder mothers, wise women, and sisters filled this space supporting, encircling, and protecting the new momma in her cocoon of safety as she completes this rite of passage and becomes a mother in her own right. Loving connection to others as well as to nature is a basic need often not met in modern society in the postpartum window.
This is entirely up to you, momma. The first thing to do is dream up what you’d like your postpartum sanctuary to look like and feel like. I can help you with this and have an arsenal of considerations, recommendations, resources, and steps to prep and make this dream a reality.
As each woman and family unit is unique, each postpartum sanctuary must be custom built to fit the needs. There are many modalities to incorporate into this discussion that we can customize to match the sanctuary you wish to create. The basics of traditional postpartum care are to support and encourage the physiologic needs of momma and baby. This design has five basic principles:
“I think if most women understood the powers of breast milk, they would do everything possible to be able to do it.”
– Suzanne Humphries, MD and author of Dissolving Illusions
what this role is not
If you’re in search of a doula who is present only to check the boxes that a standard doula licensure entails, I’m not likely your gal. I do not want watered down, “typical“ experiences for you or for me. All birth is beautiful and sacred, truly a rite of passage, and should be held as such. The same is true for the postpartum window.
I’m not one to dance around the deep questions. I am not interested in mediocre. My intention in this work is not to only bring new mommas meals and help with the household chores. There must be an honoring of the sojourning of the soul.
what this role is
My desire is to hold each mother I support in honor of where she is. Each of us carries different stories, both personally and generationally. I believe that bringing a new soul into this plane is an opportunity for unsurpassable healing — the healing of our own wounds, as well as the wounds of the mothers that came before us.
My desire is to work with those who are curious in exploring all that this time can be for them. I choose to draw in the mommas who know there is more to this than checking in at six weeks postpartum to be “cleared” for regular life again.
I’d love to bring you a special batch of warming congee and hold the space for you to debrief your birth experience. I want to witness you in all that comes up in the early days of mothering. Sometimes all we really need is a steady nervous system sitting beside us to help us regulate our own. When you are regulated, your baby feels this. Everything shifts for the better.
My goal is to help mothers come out of their fourth trimester feeling initiated and welcomed into motherhood, ready to own whatever life may bring next, ready to advocate for themselves, their children, their family with unshakable confidence in their ability to fulfill their role, and for them come forth into their communities feeling like the badasses they are.
postpartum packages
sacred sister
The milk and honey of postpartum doula care. This package spans through pregnancy, birth, and the entirety of your fourth trimester. My intention with this package is to create space for relationship building and offer continuity of care in a more traditional style. Just as an elder sister walks alongside, supports, and excavates into the depths of her sister’s wonders, questions, worries, baby planning, and all of the cracks and crevices that bridge the worlds of maiden and mother entails. The sacred sister serves as an invaluable resource for the mother-to -be and her growing family.
includes:
Collaborative connection beginning in pregnancy – As a momma who is rich with pregnancy experience and support tools, I can say that the best postpartum support truly builds upon a well supported pregnancy and birth. Ideally encircled by people you both love and trust. What this looks like is weekly virtual support as well as in person gatherings monthly or as discussed per scheduling.
Postpartum care as soon after birth as preferred by momma.
Four 3-hour daytime visits for weeks 1 and 2 (8 total visits)
Postpartum Portfolio – The early days post-birth are a blur. The postpartum portfolio is a timeless keepsake of all the little details of this special time. I envision these portfolios to be great storypoints for baby once they’re grown, a reminder of the warrior endurance it took for momma to usher baby into the world, as well as a great record keeper to discuss with our daughters the realities of early childrearing as they take interest. The portfolio includes things such as daily/weekly check ins for mom and baby’s physical recovery as well as keeping record of the gems of wisdom that surface for mom as the birth dust settles.
All applicable components below.
compassionate witness
For the momma who is desiring to be held and honored in her fourth trimester. This package is designated to the postpartum time and involves all of the desired healing modalities and offerings as listed here and below.
includes:
1 prenatal meeting
Postpartum care as soon after birth as preferred by momma.
Four 3-hour daytime visits for weeks 1 and 2 (8 total visits)
.
collaborative care
For the momma who wants a customized postpartum care schedule. Ideally for the families who already have a well-formed circle of support, but are looking to fill the gaps or bring in traditional modalities of postpartum care into their experience.
This package is customizable to fit the needs of the family, discussing and altering day-by-day scheduling and menu-style service options to choose from as listed below.
All postpartum packages include:
Warm, nourishing foods prepared and served to mom
Traditional belly binding support and womb massage
Vaginal steam therapy with customized herbal support
Postpartum herbal sitz bath and preparation
Postpartum recovery tea
In home breastfeeding support
Guided breathwork, meditation, and journal prompts
Support with light household chores and laundry
Birth debriefing
Space holding + protecting for all of the integrative pieces that the postpartum time brings up
note:
Some healing modalities must be postponed if baby is born by cesarean section. In this case, there are more specialized modalities of tending to mom’s recovery we will discuss.
components of each care package
Scheduling and Inquiries
Wanna work together? Do you have further questions?
Let’s set up a free consultation to determine if we’re a good match.
gifting postnatal support
There is so much to consider and to gather in pregnancy in preparation for a new baby’s arrival. Mothers are inundated with so many shiny tools and luxurious things, endless information and opinions from every direction.
Rather than overwhelming her with things she may not need, consider financially supporting her or gifting postpartum support. Rest and recovery are not luxury, they are basic human need. Though often underemphasized and discouraged. Instead, usher the new moms in your life into well supported motherhood, whether for her first time or if she’s entering motherhood again.
There is this stigma that we only get one baby shower in our life — and how silly it is. A mother must transform with each new life she brings in, and each new life deserves a celebration and honoring of their own.
Remember that it is physically impossible to give a new mother and baby too much support.
“These postpartum traditions were our ancestor’s way of preserving the continuity of life through optimally supporting women’s health. That’s what all the traditions are. Because without us, there is no continuity of life. And so the way that we preserve life and the way that we protect life is through taking care of women’s health.”
– Rachelle Garcia Seliga
the reasoning
The role of the sacred sister supporting new mothers is essential work to be done in the world for the sake of restoring connection. On so many levels. Whether a woman felt strong and beautiful in her birth experience, dazed and confused, or even traumatized, there must be a container of time and space in the preceding days where she is held, nourished, accompanied, heard, exalted, and honored.
From my small corner of the world, primarily the mothers I’ve witnessed transform from maiden to mother come out on the other side of this great and expansive initiation feeling not only not initiated, but weary, worn, and dissociated with who they now are in their life. Not only this, but often lacking a deep connection with the new soul they’ve brought forth, and doing what they can to mask this from the public eye.
Hormonally, this woman should be radiating oxytocin and crying tears of pure love and joy just getting to change this baby’s diaper. Literally floating on her own little baby moon. How can she surrender to this restoration period when she’s hungry like never before, exhausted beyond words, sore in her most tender places, filled with every flavor of emotion, and bombarded with visitors that often leave her feeling more tired?
How can she learn the language and needs of this brand new little person and learn them well, when she’s attempting to fit into the box of her life that she no longer fits in? How can she advocate well for herself or her child with a whirlwind of opinions coming from every direction?
what if there is a better way of navigating this?
In my experience and observation, this has less to do with social standing or tax brackets. This connection that is created between mother and baby has everything to do firstly with how well momma knows and respects herself, and secondly, how well supported she is by people she both loves and trusts.
When a mother is unable to connect on a soul level with her newborn child, she moves into motherhood feeling incapable to truly mother this child well. All this to say, we’re living in a world that is not gentle and has hidden agendas around every corner. We need mothers to mother well, and to do so without apology. When a mother is confident in who she is and what she’s doing for her family, her children rise up knowing who they are and from where they came. This is how a small ripple becomes a tide. This is one piece of humanity’s puzzle that sets us all up for wholeness.
Mothers do this work, this surrendering, for the sake of the daughters. It’s a rewriting and healing of the broken patterning we’ve been given. We do this for our husbands, that they may have vibrant and thriving wives to walk along side in this life. This healing sets the stage for our sons, in order for them to know how to care for their women well when the time comes. And we do this for the mothers who have come before that weren’t held in the ways they needed. In this way, we see and witness their journey. For without them, we wouldn’t be here.
“Although sometimes we really need someone else to witness us, hold us, or validate us, there comes a point in time where, in order to fully heal, we must compassionately witness ourselves.”
- Aurora Morales, Restorative Midwifery: A Birthworkers Guide to Becoming